Growing up, I was always looking forward to the big moments, primarily Christmas and my birthday, because I would get special food and special presents that were way out of the norm of normal life. As I grew older, the big moments changed, but I was still looking forward to those big moments: pay raise, promotions, vacations, and family milestones like marriage, buying a house, and having children. The day in and day out were just the “road” to those moments. But I had a “wake-up” moment when I turned 30. I was 10 years into my professional life, 6 years into marriage, and in the process of adopting our first son. It hit me like a ton of bricks - this is it. I’m going to be doing this for the next 30-40 years. I wrestled with that reality for some time and gradually came to the realization that fulfillment, peace, and joy live in the ordinary, in the daily process of showing up. The rituals and routines for daily life are the path forward, much like Ryan Holiday’s Stoic mantra in The Obstacle Is the Way: the challenges we face in life shouldn’t be disregarded; they are the way of life.
I’d say it’s not just obstacles but every moment—mundane and typical—that carves the way to a fulfilled life.
Waking Up to the Ordinary
Most of us sleepwalk through life, tuning out the everyday like Adam Sandler’s character in Click, fast-forwarding to the highlights only to realize, decades later, we missed it all. Anthony De Mello’s book Awareness nails this with a simple plea: “Wake up!” This is a book I picked up when I was feeling the weight of 40 years of “normalness” in front of me. He taught me to wake up, and I repeat this to myself, many times out loud, when I’m struggling — “Wake Up!” Even in moments that feel insignificant: washing dishes, mowing the lawn, folding laundry. These aren’t chores to dread but rhythms to embrace. They are the rhythm of life.
One evening, while scrubbing a crusty pan, it hit me: this is the ritual of life. It is not something to rush but something to savor, a chance to find gratitude in the act itself. Shifting my lens, this mundane and annoying chore became a moment of joy and gratitude.
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
—Marcus Aurelius
The Power of a Daily Process
Early in my sales career, I faced a brutal reality: deals could take one to two years to close. Without immediate wins, it was easy to get down on myself and feel like I was just waiting for the deal to close. A friend and mentor, Bryan Lepri, taught me to focus on a daily process—making calls, refining pitches, following up. Each evening, I’d reflect on those small steps and feel progress, even if the payoff was months away. That process was my lifeline, a way to stay grounded when results were out of sight.
Life’s like that for most of us. The things that matter—relationships, growth, meaningful work—unfold over years, not days. If we’re not engaged in the daily steps, we’re not just missing the moment—we’re missing the practice needed for what’s next.
Practice for Life’s Game Day
As an athlete, it’s easy for me to think of life like sports. Practice isn’t glamorous; it’s repetitive, grueling, and essential. The ordinary daily moments—tough conversations, quiet mornings, daily tasks—are our training. If I’m not present for them, I won’t be ready when the big moments hit.
“Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.”
—Bobby Unser
I’ve come to see every moment, even the hard ones, as preparation. You never know when life’s “game day” will arrive, so you practice daily, staying sharp for whatever comes. And celebrating the small wins helps to keep momentum.
Celebrating the Everyday
I’m a huge advocate for celebration. Friends know I’ll toast to anything—a solid workday, a good run, a clean kitchen. Not every celebration is a bash, but each one counts. It’s practice for gratitude, training the mind to spot the good.
In my wine business days, I met folks who’d save their best bottles for “special occasions” that never came. Those bottles gathered dust in basements, unopened. My approach? Crack the good stuff now. Today’s worth celebrating: maybe I nailed a pitch, had a good phone call, or perhaps I just got through a day completing all the tasks on my list. Either way, it’s a victory. There’s always something to be grateful for, and celebrating keeps us rooted in the present.
“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it, and celebrate every step.”
—Kurt Vonnegut
Choosing Joy Amid the Grind
Life isn’t all highs. My job has one of the highest failure rates out there, and like most people, personal tragedy has been no stranger in my life. But as my older brother always says, we are what we think about. I choose to be a person of gratitude, joy, and celebration, and there’s no better place to practice than in life’s daily monotony.
One of my favorite rituals is my morning routine. Since my brother-in-law introduced me two years ago, I begin most days with a cold plunge - three minutes in 35-degree water. It’s brutal, but it reminds me that life is suffering, and I either accept it with open arms or fight a battle I know I will lose. It also helps because nothing I face that day will be tougher than sitting voluntarily in freezing cold water. Then I run a few miles in silence, soaking up nature’s beauty and thanking God for the moment and giving him “all I do, say, think, and suffer” - a prayer I heard my dad say 1,000 times, and I adopted it for myself. These aren’t peak moments, but they’re the salt of life, adding flavor to the mundane.
The Challenge: Build Your Process
The book The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry: How to Stay Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alive in the Chaos of the Modern World, inspired me set aside a single day to reflect deeply. I went to a friend’s lake house and sat in silence for 12 hours, reflecting on: Who am I? Who do I want to become? What’s it going to take to get there?
The fruit of this practice has been better than I anticipated. Every few months, I pause to reflect again. I look at what’s working, what’s not, and tweak my process accordingly. It’s not about perfection; it’s about showing up consistently. The highs and lows of life keep coming and I’m continually working on refining my daily processes, training myself to embrace the daily grind, the little choices.
If you’re looking for practical ways to enhance your daily life, I invite you to try this. Set aside one day this quarter to reflect on who you are and where you want to go. Design a simple daily process. Every few months, step back. What worked? What didn’t? Adjust and keep going. That’s the process, and it’s a path to fulfillment, peace, and joy. The peaks and valleys will come, but life happens in the ordinary. Wake up to it. Practice it. Celebrate it. Because the process is the meat of life. FEAST!
Here’s a breakdown of the books and references cited in the article, along with related works that connect to the themes of mindfulness, fulfillment, and embracing the daily process:
📚 Books and References Cited in the Article
Ryan Holiday – The Obstacle Is the Way
Anthony De Mello – Awareness
Marcus Aurelius – Meditations (quoted)
Bobby Unser (quoted)
Kurt Vonnegut (quoted)
John Mark Comer – The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry
📖 Related Books and Articles on Similar Themes
“Find Your Passion: A Path to Self-Discovery and Fulfillment”
Connection: Explores how discovering passion through daily exploration leads to a fulfilling life.
“Find Your Fulfillment: Winning Habits of Highly Fulfilled Leaders” – Satinder Dhiman
Connection: Discusses habits like gratitude and mindfulness that mirror the article’s emphasis on daily rituals.
“Not Just the Outcome, But the Process”
Becoming MinimalistConnection: Advocates for finding joy in the journey, not just the destination.
“Wherever You Go, There You Are” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
Connection: A foundational mindfulness book.
“The Miracle of Mindfulness” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Connection: Offers practical ways to find peace in everyday tasks.
Embracing the Intricacies of the Path Toward Mindfulness. Link: Read the full paper
Summary: This study introduces the Unified Flexibility and Mindfulness (UFM) model, a process-oriented framework that links mindfulness to psychological flexibility and life satisfaction.
Mindfulness in Everyday Life: An Empirical Study of Mindfulness as it is Practiced. Link: Read the dissertation
Summary: This qualitative study explores how long-term Vipassana meditators experience mindfulness in ordinary life. Key themes include:
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