Feel like you're chasing something in life but can’t quite put your finger on what it is? Maybe you’ve got a good job, a loving family, and a roof over your head, but something still feels… off. Or perhaps one area of your life is wobbly, casting a shadow over everything else. I’ve been there too, and recently, a car ride chat with my brother-in-law Danny sparked a lightbulb moment. We were tossing ideas around when it hit me: fulfillment isn’t a finish line—it’s a balance. But it’s more than that—it’s also about embracing the struggles we face and discovering what truly drives us.
After mulling it over, I’ve pinned fulfillment down to five key pillars: money, health, community, values, and vocation. Picture these as the supports holding up your life’s roof. If one’s shaky or missing, the whole thing tilts. You don’t need perfection in each—just enough strength to keep things steady, while also leaning into the challenges that shape who you are. In this piece, I’ll unpack these pillars, blending in wisdom from books, research, and some personal reflections. I’m no guru—just a friend sharing what’s clicked for me. Big thanks to Danny for kickstarting this with a great car convo! Let’s get started!
Pillar 1: Money—Finding Peace with Your Finances
Money’s often the first thing we think of when fulfillment feels off. But it’s not about stacking cash—it’s about having enough to live comfortably, pursue your goals, and rest easy. Hold up—what goals? you might wonder. Honestly, I’ve asked myself that too. Many of us don’t have clear financial goals or a “why” behind them, and that’s okay. Step one is figuring out what you want money to do for you. Security for your family? Freedom to chase a passion? Space to give back? Once you nail your “why,” meaningful goals start to take shape.
For me, money’s a tool—a means, not an end. It’s a stand-in for real stuff I value, like a home, education, time off of work to spend with family, generosity, and everything else I want to buy that brings satisfaction to life. The next step is separating these into needs and wants , so I can prioritize accordingly. Getting this has given me direction and understandingin my pursuit of having “enough”. It’s also led to some of the most stimulating, fulfilling, and uncomfortable conversations with my spouse.
The Purpose of Money: Ownership and Stability
What is money, anyway? It seems obvious at first glance, but digging deeper changes things. Some think of money as a placeholder—valueless on its own, only worth what it trades for: goods, services, or charity. This concept flipped a switch for me. Money’s purpose isn’t just accumulation—it’s ownership, in a grounded, human way.
The Encyclical Rerum Novarum, issued in 1891 helped me unpack this: “Every man has by nature the right to possess property as his own… to hold [it] in stable and permanent possession.” It ties ownership to providing for yourself and family, both now and later.
Today, we rent more than we own—cloths, bags, cars, even skills (hello, Google Maps). Renting’s not evil, but it’s less stable. Financial peace means stretching toward ownership—buying what you can afford, not overextending on rent—and cutting reliance on fleeting fixes. It’s about living within your means, building security, and ditching the throwaway culture.
Desire and Financial Peace
Peace with money also hinges on desire. We’re drowning in ads—gas pumps even pitch stuff now! Marketing pros get paid big to tug our heartstrings, pushing junk we don’t need. William T. Cavanaugh’s Being Consumed asks: Are we free in this “free market,” or pawns to faceless corporations? Our wants are often manufactured. So, before chasing more cash, ask: What do I really desire, and why? Are my goals mine, or someone else’s?
Sometimes peace isn’t about earning more—it’s about wanting less. Right-sizing your life and expectations can be just as powerful as increasing your income. Discipline helps too—shutting off the noise (phone, TV) to focus on what matters. Living your life, not the one sold to you, is freedom.
Practical Steps
Shaky on money? Try this: aim to live on 70-80% of your take-home pay. With the extra 20-30%, you can afford to build an emergency fund and a financial independence fund. I’ve seen folks earning $500,000 a year with zilch saved—crazy, right? Run the numbers: Is your income serving you, or are you serving it? Too much time for too little cash, or vice versa? Find your sweet spot. As Ramit Sethi says in I Will Teach You to Be Rich, “The best way to get rich is to start now, not tomorrow.”
Pillar 2: Health—Nurturing Your Body and Mind
Health is huge. Without it, everything’s tougher. It’s not just dodging sickness—it’s feeling good, body and soul. Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, nails this in The Anxious Generation. He shows how social media’s comparison trap tanks mental health. It’s a nudge to trade screens for real talk.
Physically, Peter Attia’s Outlive pushes proactive health in your 30s and 40s. He talks about the “marginal decade”—your last 10 years—and how today’s choices shape it. “The decisions you make in your 30s and 40s will determine the quality of your life in your 60s and beyond,” he writes. Health’s your top asset—invest now for a vibrant later.
Practical Steps
Weak here? Start tiny—eat better, move a bit, breathe deep. Small wins stack up. And guard your mind—cut social media, lean into real connections. In my own life, I’ve realized that social health can be as important as physical health… it’s about feeling connected and supported.”
Pillar 3: Community—Building Connections That Matter
Community’s your people—friends, family, your crew. Skip it, and life gets lonely. Killam’s Social Health links strong ties to longer, healthier lives: “Social health is not just a nice-to-have; it’s a must-have.” Even monks connect—to a higher power. We all need that bond.
Lacking here? Reach out—join something, call an old friend. It’s work, but worth it. As Christopher McCandless wrote in Into the Wild, “Happiness is only real when shared.”
Pillar 4: Values—Living in Alignment with What Matters
Values steer your ship. Live by them, and you’ve got integrity. Stray, and it’s chaos inside. C.S. Lewis’s Mere Christianity digs into a universal moral law we all sense. Fulfillment’s not in quick thrills—it’s in syncing up with something bigger. Chasing cash over values? You’ll feel hollow. Ask: What matters to me? Who do I want to be? Live that, and peace follows.
Pillar 5: Vocation—Finding Meaning in Your Work
Vocation’s about meaning—your job, hobby, or cause. In The E-Myth Revisited, Michael Gerber says work reflects who you are: “If we’re not fulfilled by our work, we’re not fulfilled by our lives.”
But today, desk jobs can feel soulless. We all have a circle of influence that we connect with daily. We create things constantly, whether in the digital or physical world, and those things have an impact on a daily basis. If you don’t quite understand it, figure out how what you do daily positively impacts you, your co-workers, and the consumers and customers of whatever you’re doing. Let that meaning put wind in your sails. Meaning and purpose can be found in any moral job.
Sanctifying the Mundane
What if your job’s a grind? Josemaría Escrivá says sanctify it—bring virtue, discipline, and prayer to the dull stuff. A dry task becomes holy, lifting you and others. If you're just doing it for a paycheck, you’re going to get burnt out, and that will negatively impact you and all those downstream: your colleagues, your customers, your family, and your friends. Treat your work as a calling. If you think this is crazy, Google Solanus Casey, from Detroit, Michigan. If this guy can find meaning in his work as a doorkeeper, so can we. Bottom line - even if you realize you need a new job, find value where you stand today.
Struggle and Purpose
Purpose leads to responsibility, and responsibility leads to struggle.
Struggle is how we grow. Winners embrace it, building anti-fragility—bouncing back stronger when knocked back or knocked down. So, what’s your fight? What’s your struggle? What purpose calls you, worth trading comfort for? Greatness often looks nuts to others. Find it, chase it, don’t bend. With the other pillars solid, it won’t derail you, it’ll define you, and may lead to your life’s greatest work.
Conclusion: Balancing and Becoming
Here’s the lineup: money, health, community, values, vocation. Each a lever to steady your life. You have a weak spot? Me to. Don’t sweat it; tweak it day by day, bit by bit, consistently working to make them stronger. There’s no magic bullet, this is our life’s work.
My recommendation: Rate each pillar in your life 1 to 5: 1-2, act on it immediately, make it a priority in your life. 3-4, keep it up, finding areas to improve. 5, maintain and keep focus on it because chances are something will come along in life that will take it from a 5 to a 4 or even lower.
Thanks for hanging out with me on Fulfillment Project. Here’s to a life that’s bold, and truly yours. See you next time.
For further exploration, I recommend you check out these resources:
Books
Rerum Novarum (1891) - Encyclical issued by Pope Leo XIII, discussing the rights and duties of capital and labor, emphasizing the right to possess property.
Being Consumed: Economics and Christian Desire by William T. Cavanaugh - Explores the relationship between consumerism, freedom, and Christian values, questioning whether market-driven desires align with personal fulfillment.
The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness by Jonathan Haidt - Examines the impact of social media and digital culture on mental health, particularly among younger generations.
Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia - Discusses proactive health strategies for long-term physical and mental well-being, focusing on decisions made in one’s 30s and 40s.
The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement by David Brooks (referenced as "Killam's social health book") - Links strong social connections to longer, healthier lives, emphasizing the importance of community.
Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer - Includes the quote by Christopher McCandless, “happiness is only real when shared,” highlighting the role of community in fulfillment.
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis - Explores universal moral laws and the importance of aligning actions with personal values for a meaningful life.
The E-Myth Revisited: Why Most Small Businesses Don’t Work and What to Do About It by Michael E. Gerber - Discusses finding meaning in work by aligning it with personal identity and purpose.
Other References
José María Escrivá - Referenced for the concept of sanctifying mundane work through virtue, discipline, and prayer.
Solanus Casey - Mentioned as an example of finding meaning in humble work (doorkeeper), encouraging readers to seek value in their current roles.
Share this post